No not dead....

Yeah, so I kinda fell of the wagon so to speak. Consistency seems to be an issue here. But whatever this is my world. Henry is now 25 months old. I swear I will be glad when we can ditch this month thing just say 2 or 2 and a half. Henry is a little boy. He has opinions about what he wears, eats, sees....ahhh everything. He can now tell me "I no like it" or "I love it". There seems to be no middle ground. He loves trucks, cars, balls and books. I took just one viewing of the movie "Cars" for the car thing to establish.

Henry says bless you when you sneeze and thank you when you give him something. These are the most basic things ever and they make me glow with pride. He is more than half my height and can eat as much as I do. His tantrums can send me to the brink of sanity and now I understand why people beat their kids. I lock myself in the bathroom to avoid getting that mad. I don't condone it but I get it.

Will I ever stop worrying about being a good parent?

I love you Henrybug.

a year and a half

So here we are at 18 months. I am floored. He is a big kid now. With attitude. A lot of attitude. I know its a phase but I fear its genetic. It is humiliating to have a three foot talk person tell you to go to hell in no uncertain terms and he cant even speak english. Yay Motherhood!

Not keeping up with the Jones's or the Smith's

So four months have passed and I have not written. My plan had been to write monthly at a minimum but that has been tough.

Henry you are 18 months old! A year and a half. You arent a baby anymore. In fact, you will be moving up to the toddler group at daycare. Just watching you run around the backyard and scream with delight, boggles my mind. You are talking a bunch these days yet no one can understand a word you are saying. But you certainly get your point across. I am a teeny bit worried that you arent talking more but you will do things in your own time. You love the kick the ball around the backyard and explore at the park. Your favorite food is still cornbread. You love running around the slip and slide and stomping in puddles. Since I last wrote, we learned that you are going to have a cousin this fall. Auntie Shae and Erica are having a little baby boy. Noah. I am so excited for the Aunties and excited for you to have a little buddy. Grandpa and Nana are very excited too. Henry, you are so amazing to me and love you.

In other exciting news, R is changing jobs. No more CSI Miami. Now on to Law & Order LA. He is very excited to do something new. I am excited to see him looking forward to work. I know how tough it can be to drag yourself into a job you arent enthusiastic about.

That is all for now. I promise to be back soon.

14 months

So now you are a big boy. Still not so sure on your feet but definitely showing signs of independence. Pushing my hand away when I reach out to help you. Being VERY clear about the fact that you do NOT want to eat this or that. You don't have a vocabulary but you are talking all the time. My favorite is when I wake you up to get ready for daycare. You sit up in your crib and just start babbling a blue streak. I imagine that you are telling me about your dreams. You cry out in your sleep sometimes and I worry that you are having nightmares. I hope that is not the case. I love you smell the back of your neck still soft like a tiny baby. I look into your eyes, just like mine, and wonder what you think of me. You drive me absolutely berserk with your demands and screaming. No, you cannot come into the kitchen when I am cooking. No, you cannot rifle around in the nightstand drawers. I fear I say no too often but that is what pops out. I would rather you are able to roam (sorta) your own home that be limited to one area. I look forward to drier weather when we can spend afternoons in the backyard. I am so proud of you. Not really for what you do but the fact the we made you. I am proud of what I made. This is selfish but I don't care. I will blink and you will be even bigger. I love you Henry.

13 is a good number to start

Today my lil guy is 13 months old. It has been the strangest 13 months of my life. I feel like I have squeezed through a very small crack in the world to emerge into a new dimension. The mommy dimension. I never really had aspirations to the mommy dimension but here I am. Covered in baby snot, manically searching the web for toddler lunch boxes and wondering what the hell happened here? All during my lunch break at work.

All the gripeing aside being Henry's mom is a gas. In every sense of the word, people. My little critter is lurching around the house these days telling everyone what to do and how to do it. I cannot imagine where he got that trait. Some days I really dont want to "do" mommy. I want to go back to being Hilary. I want to sit on the couch, watch reruns of CSI (Vegas, of course), drink a half a bottle of wine and eat pickles and crackers for dinner. If I had known I would have so little "extra" time later in life I would have figured out some way to bank those minutes.

The only "me" time that happens these days would be bathroom time. Even then it is with a small child on the other side of the door banging, wanting to come in. But he is doing that because he wants to be with me. He wants to touch my hair. He wants to listen to me sing (god forbid). He wants to be chased around the sofa. And that makes it all worth it.